He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
