dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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