wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
