I think I can smell my own vagina right now
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
