yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
