dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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