Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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