Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
