i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
