No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Is Oprah even human
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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