i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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