I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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