I will die if light touches me.
someone owes me an orgasm
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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