yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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