took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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