I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
