I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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