I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
