dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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