you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
