let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
