I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
