Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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