i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
