I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
