Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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