Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
