Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
This beer is not sobering me up at all
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
