I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
