then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
COCAINE IS GR8
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize