New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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