I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
