Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
