The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
