Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I think my moral compass just broke
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