If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
