your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
