he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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