hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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