I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
That accounts for only three of the penises
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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