Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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