I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
