Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
