Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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