Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
