2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
