Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I can't turn off my feet"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
