so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
