Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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