perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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