haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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