and she was petting her beer can
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize